Husband and I have a somewhat unconventional marriage within the trappings of a conventional one.  I’m not going to go into the details of that but I will say “It’s not what you think”. Our unconventionality is mostly related to the communication and emotions that a couple have with and about one another.

Our anniversary was a few weeks ago and despite the difficulties that we’ve had over the years before and after marriage, when we got married I felt that it was important to follow the ritual of acknowledging the anniversary with a gift.  A traditional gift. Nothing really big as it follows pretty closely on the heels of Christmas and is just a bit before my birthday.

For me, it is important to acknowledge the fact that we did get married and reflect on what marriage means to me. I don’t know what Husband actually thinks about my following the ritual of the anniversary gift, but he acknowledges it and participates sometimes, in his own way.

Marriage can be:
Obtaining a baby mama and house keeper (or bank),
Obtaining a baby daddy and bank (house keeper),
A source of sex,
A source of intimate sex,
A way to not be alone (I’m not saying not lonely though) in old age,
Roommates as spouse,
A true friendship,
A way to get citizenship,
A way to escape your parent’s house,
The desire to support someone you love and be supported,
Sharing or secretive,
Love and respect manifested in a socially & legally accepted ritual,
A legal contract for the exchange of property or money,
And many other things.

This anniversary was great.  The traditional gifts for 4th anniversary are fruit and flowers. Husband likes fruit and I love flowers (and like fruit too). How could you go wrong there?

I can say that I was absolutely beaming when I came home from work early and there was a delivery of flowers at the front desk. For me!! It was a bouquet called Hugs & Kisses (How twee, right? but cute anyway) and when all was said and done there were two vases full of purple irises and red tulips brightening up our studio.  They were beautiful.

4th Anniversary Flowers

Husband in turn received both pears and oranges which came in two separate deliveries at least a week apart.  Fortunately, the pears showed up around the anniversary. And Husband was kind enough to share the bounty with me.

Anniversary Pears

It was a very good day and it was good to feel happy and loved.