Still no symptoms – no nothing.
Husband was at work for a bit of the day – tax season and all that – and I spent the morning catching up on chores.
I had to go to Metrodrugs to get a syringe (because of my trying to bend one a few days ago)- and got the whole lot of 30 just because. The refill was for 3ml 22 gauge 1-1/2″ needle syringes. Those needles are icky but way the hell better then the filling needles of 18 gauge. The smaller the gauge – the bigger the needle. Kinda like cameral aperatures.
Then I tried to loose myself at Barnes & Noble – fortunately looking at photography books not fertility books. That would have been just crazy stupid.
N1 called – I guess in response to my sms from yesterday. We haven’t talked in something like two weeks. I’m lying low and she’s enjoying the stay at home wife/mother role. It was good to talk to her but I feel like we are losing something. I don’t know what, but it makes me sad.
Spent the remainder of the day trying to keep my mind off of things and trying not to be super depressed. It was somewhat easy because Husband was doing that “I’m frustruated and trying to focus even though I know I’m not going to fulfill my unrealistic list of tasks and I wish you weren’t here” thing so it was easy to have different emotions besides worry. Namely frustruation and anger. It really gets to me when he acts this way because all emotions are gone from his repertoire. His voice is toneless and it’s a joke when he tries to say the normal pleasantries. He doesn’t respond when spoken to – which is a big, big trigger for me – so I have two choices:sit there and ignore it like my mother does with my father or get pissed off. I seem to do a combination of the two. But hey, at least I wasn’t wallowing in worry over the beta test tomorrow.
We had a nice healthy fish, rice, carrot dinner BEFORE the shot for once.
The PIO shot was meh – we’re still doing it too far inward – I tried to show Husband where I wanted it but I guess I was too general in my “do it here” and he did it 1-2 inches inward from the location I wanted. It hurt but I only made a little sound rather than saying “OOOOW”. I’m still extremely grateful that he is doing them, not me.
Maybe this will be the last one – maybe not.